Allright so, I need someone to talk to, and theres nobody here.
surprise surprise.
I help everyone, yet when I need someone im screwed.
So here I am back at my blog.
Okay, so I was talking to Kris yesterday, and since I feel bad its his Birthday tomorrow,
and he doesnt really have many friends to spend it with... because of me.
I told him that if he wants to talk to the whore and the asshole again, he can
and i told him i would keep my feelings about it to myself.
so I have a feeling this blog is going to come in mighty handy in the next little while,
I told him that he can hang out with them, because its my fault he doesnt see them or talk to them anymore.
I told him i dont want to ever see them, because I dont like them, but I think its hurt him that ive done this..
and I feel horrible about it, because he hasnt told me to not hang out with any of my friends,
but then again i never do cuz im always with him,
and im not complaining, i mean,
Id rather be with him...
But Im scared that theyre gonna turn him against me,
because theyll try, i know that,
and whoreface will definately try to break us up again.
He said he will only hang out with her if im there...
but really im not gonna be happy any time im around her.
because I hate her, and i want nothing to do with her.
but i guess i have to live with it if i want to be with him.
Even though just seeing he added her to facebook,
almost made me cry.
but like, I have to be happy for his birthday,
so I need to get this out,
and theres nobody i can talk to so im stuck.
like i cant tell kris,
cuz itll just screw things up.
and im sure hes gonna invite whoreface and some other people i dont like to do something for his birthday on thursday, well his birthdays tomorrow,
but he's celebrating on thursday..
i dont know what theyre planning to do but really,
i cant do anything because I dont have any money.
So Ill let him have fun with his friends...
but really im starting to freak out because I dont wanna lose him,
and just lal the shit we went through when they were friends was just so hard.
and i dont want to do that anymore.
and im afraid if i cant deal with it,
i might just freak out and end up screwing everything up.
and it wouldnt surprise me if I did,
i mean, He only gives people one chance,
so if i screw this up, theres no way he would take me back.
So I just really dont want to have to go crazy every day.
and I know he's gonna be talking to her,
and i dont know what about.
and what drives me crazy.
is he changed his email addy. and well,
he changed his password,
so i dont know what it is.
which scares me.
but i guess its for the best because i cant look at his stuff...
but it also kinda makes me feel like hes hiding things..
so I dont know.
i just feel sick
and i keep thinking.
because i dont wanna lose him,
and i dont wanna go through this all over again.
and ahhhhhhhhh.
I just dont think i can do this.
but i guess we'll have to see..
cuz yeah.
i dunno.
but i gotta go...
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