She's Tied Together With A Smile, And She's Coming Undone

So, all the shit with the ex is almost over.
I have to go to his place tomorrow and pick up my stuff.
then Ill be done with it.
finally.
it sucks that it took so long for me to really see what i was being put through,
but im glad that its done.
But on another note.
I've been hanging with some "friends" lately,
and I put quotations because im quite unsure about two of them.
One of them, totally played me for a night,
which pissed me off big time, because he knew i was in a fragile state when he did it,
so that wasn't cool,
and the other one, told me he would be my best friend,
and be there through everything,
and he's been a dick to me lately,
like Ive told him lately I need a hug, because my birthday is coming up,
and i fucking hate my birthday and he told me that he'd give me a hug,
then he comes in after work one day,
i go to give him a hug and he shoves me off.
completely,
then writes on his gf's facebook that im a douche bag and he doesnt give a shit about me.
well fuck you!
like I dont understand,
i have a fucking right to be mad at him.
but whatever. apparently i dont.
im just getting sick of people being idiots to me,
im going through a really fucking rough time,
but apparently its time to pick on me.
which is fucking gay.
i mean like, what the hell.
Ive never seen myself living either to, or past the age of 20,
so they're just fucking making it easier for me to make that true.
and im not liking this bullshit.
I don't deal well with it,
especially when im already not happy.
And with the new boy,
theyre like, his best friends...
which makes this all harder,
because i mean, ive been friends with them too,
that's how I met him,
but if things are awkward
then it might make it harder for him,
and I don't wanna make him choose,
I've already told him I don't care if he hangs out with them instead of me.
we aren't dating yet,
we're only seeing each other,
and as much as i LOVE seeing him,
I can't have him all the time,
I gotta share him.
He's not mine, I don't own him.
Plus he was friends with them long before he met me,
so he really should spend more time with them than me.
and I mean, I wont sit at home all the time,
I have people I can go out with and stuff.
Apparently he's planning a whole day for my birthday,
i mean Im kind of looking forward to it,
but at the same time im not...
because I hate my birthday.
theres nothing else to it, I hate it.
and it really sucks but what can I do?
I don't know.
I just felt like ranting,
because he's at work,
and i just read that thing on facebook and started crying.
made me so mad.
its not fair.
but whatever.
its life i guess right?
I guess im out for now..